


Nothing to loose

by clarkeazgeda



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clarke is a prisoner, F/F, Ontari is the commander, Smut, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 22:18:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11564460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarkeazgeda/pseuds/clarkeazgeda
Summary: Clarke has been locked up for months in a dungeon being tortured by ontari. What will happen when clarke has nothing to loose and decides to face her feelings for ontari head on. Also ontari is the commander and won the conclave fair and square then got the flame before clarke could hide it from everyone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love Clantari (ship name?) No ALLIE or primefire just earth at its finest (not really) but thats how they live.

'Crack'

The 12th bone in my body has just been broken. This bitch Ontari has been going at it for 6 months now. At least she has avoided my nose, it would look so bad, with it not being able to heal correctly. That would look ugly and no one would want to see that.

'phh' I hold back a snort at that thought. GOD! I'm thinking about how people would see a hypothetical broken nose on me. Wonderful, I'm going crazy. That would be the dream though, to get out of here and go back to my friends and family. I mean I have been in here almost as long as I have been here on earth.

Times like these I do wish I was back on the ark. I wouldn't have seen so much death, wouldn't be in as much danger of dying at any moment. Well actually here I probably won't be dying anytime soon considering the amount of times ontari has said to my face, 'I don't want you to die, that would mean peace for you, I just want you to suffer'. Well I am suffering, that's for sure. Day after day I get to see Ontari come in with new tools just for me. Who knew there were so many ways to physically torture someone. Not to mention her leaving me alone with my thoughts as my only companion. That is more dangerous than anything else. Ontari knows all of this too, she has seen what happens when I try to sleep. The horrible nightmares I get, waking up screaming for Lexa, only to find myself in a cold, dark room alone. It's like Ontari can sense when I wake up because then she comes in to kick, punch, or throw a bucket of water on me. I gave up sleeping about 3 months ago, only sleeping when I collapse from exhaustion or am unconscious from pain.

She always makes sure I have plenty of time to myself. What is worse though is when she comes in and just sits across the room from me in this tiny ass cell and stares at me. I feel like she can look into my soul and know my thoughts and feelings. I don't think she will find much, I have been just surviving for months. I have nothing to hide because I don't care anymore.

Lexa is dead, I will never see her again. That is what really kills me. If I had the chance to see her once more to tell her I love her I would in a heart beat. I never truly got closure, with Titus whisking her away for her ceremonial burial then getting captured by Ontari.

My dad is dead, Wells is dead, and I'm sitting here waiting to rot out. Which won't even happen because I'm forced to drink water everyday and food every other. If only I could die of dehydration, but apparently that's the cowards way out according to Ontari. I have to suffer as much as she did, so I guess I will wait here until she gets tired of me or thinks I am worthy of dying. I know I will never will be worthy, for I will always be haunted by all of the people I have killed. Slitting throats, pushing levers, and pulling triggers, are ways I have caused many deaths. If I ever  get out of here, which will most likely never happen, I will always be haunted and reminded of what I have done.

I will forever be talked about as a legend and a hero. Wanheda. The mountain slayer. Feared but warshiped throughout the 12 clans and beyond. Phhh, I think that's all just a bunch of bullshit. I killed people, masses of them. I don't even have enough room on my back for all of the kill marks I should have. I would need dozens of backs and I have only been on the earth for months. Warriors who were trained as children to fight and kill don't have as many kills as me. Bottom line, commander of death really should not be an honour. It is something you never should be called. It means you have killed too many. I may have saved some, like Lincoln who was turned back from being a reaper, what was thought as impossible by grounders. But I have killed more than I have saved. The deaths i caused may have been to save and protect the people I care for and love but it doesn't justify or make it right. That's how eath is though, ruthless. Do what you have to do to survive.

"That's enough for today I guess. What do you think?" She says, gods that cold hearted azgeda scum is so annoyingly arrogant. I don't say anything back, instead I send her the harshest glare I can muster right now. Sometimes I just want to rip her throat out. But I can't do that because my arms and legs are chained up. After all wanheda is very dangerous. She knows I'm not good at close combat fighting, trust me I've tried. Also, she is the only human interaction I have and I will seriously go crazy without any so she will stay, not that I have any say obviously. She's easy on the eyes I must say, so thats a plus.

Wait, no... I mean... ugh, just no.... forget I said that. It's been a while ok? Since Lexa actually, but I'll never be over that. What I had with her was complicated but real. I have known Ontari longer than I did Lexa though... and I will admit she can be hot when she is not punching or burning or whatever other shit she does to me. I can't even feel the torture sometimes anymore. My body is covered with burns, scratches and scars now. Gods, I must look horrible. I just wanna get out of here. But I haven't heard of one attempt by the Arkers to help me escape and I know I can't do it alone. I mean I can barely walk much less fight these days.

I might as well see the good in my life. Such as the hot grounder I get to see everyday. And the food here is so much better than food on the ark, even prison food. That's gotta say something too. All I eat down here in this dungeon is bread, soup, and about once a month the fatty part of some type of meat. Probably panther or dear.

2 years ago I could never imagine, me, Clarke Griffin, the girl locked up in solitary, on the ground being tortured for the fun of it, by a girl my age, no bigger than me, and the commander of the coalition. If someone told me that then I would probably laugh in their face and depending on who it was tell them to go float themselves. But now with ontari being the rightful commander and all which shouldn't be because lexa should be alive, I get what I can. Should I go for it next time she gets close enough? I mean what's to loose, I have already lost everything, do you see where my life has taken me. I don't even deserve to die, I have to stay alive to keep grieving all of the people I have killed to save my own.

"Is that a no? Because I could go all day." Ontari says smirking. I just grunt. Why not, as soon as she gets close enough I will get what I have been craving for months. To be close to someone, to forget lexa and move on. Ontari can do just that for me and hopefully she will becuase I don't think she is getting any either being so busy with me and all.

Ontari stalks closer with a wicked looking knife in her hand. Ok here goes nothing.

"You wanted this bitch. All you had to say was you were done for today, but you are to damn stubborn." She growls out.

The knife she has in her hand is coming out towards my chest. Ok that's a good place for what I wanna do, just a couple more seconds. I feel the cold metal of the knife pressing against my skin ever so slightly. Then all of a sudden the bitch pushes down harded and breaks my skin. I don't react. This is nothing compared to what I am used to. I look down to see a thin trail of blood trickle down my chest and seep into what's left of my ratty shirt. I look back up to Ontari and push some of my walls down so she can read me and see the lust and hunger in my eyes.

She starts to squirm and shift in her position, but feet still rooted in place. Good. I lean in, just enough to press my lips against hers.

Her lips are so soft. Not even Lexa's were this soft. I could soak her up forever and never get tired of it. Damn the taste of her lips, there are no words to describe them.

She smells like mint from some some type of lip balm, but just her taste I would die for. I would roll over and let her take me if she asked. It didn't even feel this good with lexa. I though she was meant to be, but, Ontari, this is explosive, like fireworks went off and electricity zapped through my body. I just know she can feel it too so I push harder trying to get more of her. This is special, nothing like I've ever felt before.

Then I start to move to see how she reacts, I bring my shackled hands up and press them to the back of her neck playing with her baby hairs. Soothing her the best I can. Then, to my suprise, I feel her start to kiss me back. My head starts swimming. It feels so right.

I fainly hear the knife that once was in her hand drop to the ground, then she brings her hands up to my face and cradles my cheeks in them. I tangle my hands into her hair and smash her face even closer to mine. Any more contact I can get with her I do, without crossing lines I'm not sure are even there because this is new and anything could happen.

I lean back to change the angle of the kiss then go in even hungier than before. It feels different doing this with ontari rather than lexa. With lexa we were slow, intimate, like one of us was about to break if we pressed too hard. This kiss now is full of hunger and lust and I know Ontari has to feel something for me.I can't ignore this feeling and I know she can't by the way she is pressing just as hard back.

I feel her velvety tongue tentatively swipe my bottome lip. I open up my lips and let her tongue slip into my mouth and explore. Her tongue scrapes against the roof of my mouth and I let out a breathy moan. Her tongue swipes over my teeth, inner cheeks, then connects with my tongue. I can hear little noises coming from her and "uuuhhhh" I can't stop from letting a small moan leave my lips.

It all feels so good. I never want this to end. My tongue and hers dancearound each other. Breathing is something I don't want to do because that means seperating, so I just press harder again and our teeth clash a little before a rythm is set fighting back and forth for dominance.

Eventually she gives in and lets me take over, so I use this chance to just revel in her taste soaking up every inch of her mouth. Then, suddenly I feel her hand that is caressing my cheek still. She pulls back and I chase after her lips to no avail.

What the fuck?

I look back into her eyes and I see conflict, like she doesn't know how she should feel. She looks away from my eyes and then around the room and her eyes land on her knife, which was dropped to the side and forgotten about in her haste to get to me earlier. She stands up and plucks the crude looking dagger from ground and sheaths it in a strap resting on her shapely hips.

Ugh, I know she is trying to ignore what happened but I also know she can't. Her body language gives her away. All rigid but slightly leaning towards me.

To the untrained eye no one would see it, but I have been studying this girl for months. Then, I see tears welling up in her eyes just before she is turning and running out of the room.

"God damn it!" I yell and harshly drop my shackled hands on ground with a loud 'clunk'

What have I done?


	2. Hunger and Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is hungry and has a lot on her mind. Ontari? Who knows what she is thinking.

It's been 3 days since my kiss with Ontari happened and she hasn't been back to my cell since. I get she has many duties to complete as heda, but she had always had time to come to my cell for daily torture in the past. Not that I am glad to be here, but since I am I like a little human interaction to keep me as sane as I can be here. I guess in some ways Ontari avoiding me is a blessing. I mean I have gotten 3 days off from brutal beatings, and my newest wounds have been able to start to close up and heal. Usually there are just cuts, burns, and bruises overlapping each other not givin the nessasary time to heal before the torture returns full force. Unfortunately it also means I have been givin a lot of time to just think. And I think about a lot of things. 

Like, why did Ontari kiss me back, but then leave in confusion and fear? Was there a past problem that no one knows about? Obviously she was being secretly trained by kwin Nia in Azgeda to one day hopefully become the commander. Did she have friends as a child? Maybe a lover that was lost or she had to abandon when coming here? Maybe she is just scared to start feeling something for me? Hold up... wait. Feelings? Is she capable of those type? Am I still able to feel and care for someone like that anymore? Or is it she just thinks what we did was a mistake and only kissed me back in the heat of the momment?

I need answers. Like now or my head is going to freakin explode! I hope Ontari comes in here soon. Even if it's just to hurt me like usual. She can, I don't care much anymore. If she comes in I can find out how she feels about me and that is something I need to know. I would also love if either she or someone else would give me food. It's been 3 days for gods sake. I need food soon or I'm gonna starve to death. Ha! That's the way the mighty Wanheda is going to go out. Death by starvation. Some type of legend I am. I mean, a girl can't only live off of water. Supposed spirit possessing my body or not. I bet those dumbass servants are too scared to face the horrid wrath of wanheda. They have been just slipping a couple of cups of water under the door. I need some food, don't really care what it is as long as it's edible. I do get not wanting to face the Commander of death. Considering I will probably find some way to break that person's neck who comes in if they are anyone but Ontari. Even if they won't totally come in to the room they should have found a way to get food to me. Meat would be wonderful, but I will eat whatever they give to me. Fish, bread, soup, who cares it's food.

"UGH! Fucking Hell!" I start screaming. I just want to get outta here. I'm done with all this stupid shit. 

I just wanna go see my peope, my friends, who I sacrificed myself for. I turned myself in to Ontari to protect my people. I know it was the right thing to do and I don't blame anyone but myself because they all would surly be dead by now if I hadn't. No offense to all of them, but the coalition has a massive and overpowering army. Ontari wanted me or my people's live's so the obvious choice is me. 1 instead of hundreds.

I hear the door to my cell open with a protesting groan. Fucking finally, food. I look up tp see who had the balls to come into my cell. Huh? This is a suprise.

"Ontari?" oh thank got she brought food.

Ontari clears her throat "Uhh...yeah...so...I figured you would be getting pretty hungry (I scoff at that.)so...umm...here you go." She hands me a tray with food on it...yes! There is meat, fruit, and bread for me to eat. 

I take a bit and have to hold back a moan. This stuff is amazing. "Ummmm, your a goddess"I say as I swallow the last of my food. It's been about 5 minutes now since I got the food, but I couldn't help it. I was hungry and desperate to put anything edible into my stomache at that point. Now I look up to see Ontari staring at me so I just give her a small smile. I see her turn her head away from me trying to hide the blush that was spreading across her cheeks. Aww, yes! So she does want me. This should be easier than I thought.

"So Commander Ontari, (I like the way her title rolls off of my tongue)about that kiss that happened between us a couple days ago..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be another chapter next week. What will happen when they talk about the kiss? Will there be a flame of desire or anger coursing through Clarke's body by the end?

**Author's Note:**

> You guys please write more ontari/clarke pairings and I will definitely read it and most likely love it. Be a critic and comment. Never have done smut before so...I don't know hoe that went. Will update within the next week. My other fic has not been abandoned and also will be updated sooner or later. Have a great day!


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